Sunday, December 19, 2004

"Be Thankful for What You Have".

How many times have we heard this? Maybe you heard it as a child while you were throwing the mother of all fits for the newest toy in the store. Maybe you heard it as a teenager while complaining about having to drive the family car instead of some hot ride of your own. Or maybe you heard it some other time in your life when you were being less than grateful for what you'd been given.
As we get older, we realize the grass is seldom greener on the other side, so to speak. We also learn that we run up on people who want to "make us over" so they'll be happier with us, we should kick them to the curb with no shame whatsoever. It's this last lesson I'd like to address tonight (today, whatever - insert proper time zone here).
What is WITH people who have decided, through some all-knowing power they've acquired at some point in life, that we NEED them to help us be more beautiful/skinnier/more outgoing/more thoughtful/more tolerant of the color combination of purple and green? Have you ever noticed that people who try and tell you how to make your life better often have some GLARING problem with their own? Maybe it's just the recent glut of those 'makeover' reality shows (which anyone who knows me, knows exactly how I feel about). I guess that's what makes some people think they should 'makeover' others so they'll be more attractive.

Well, I have news for those people: I'm just fine like I am, and you can go butt a stump.
Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, so let me pause for a moment and reconsider...

Um, nope. That's exactly the way I feel.

It happened to me recently. Someone I know mentioned they were starting a diet so they could get a little more in shape and related to me that they wanted me to as well. Did I disagree with them on the point that I could stand to re-acquaint myself with a Stairmaster? No. Do I think I don't need for the Levi's to fit a little looser? Certainly not. Do I need someone else to tell me what I need to do? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Especially if that person has just finished off a bag of pork rinds and is sporting some extra poundage of their own.
Contrary to popular belief, no, you are not doing someone a favor by pointing out the obvious. Here's a hint for the tactically challenged that might be reading this: We already KNOW we need to lose weight. But anyone who steps on the thin ice that is telling someone they'd like them more if there was a little less of them, the only weight that's going to be lost in the relationship is you when they drop you like a hot rock.
I know - these people are probably just trying to help. Let me fill you in: you're not.
Here's what you ARE doing: Making the person you're 'helping' wonder just what ELSE you find wrong with them. That leads to bad feelings and, more often than not, their inability to stifle pointing out all the things they think are wrong with YOU. (And believe me, they have a list.)
I would like to also say that I don't come to you today (tonight, etc.) from the pulpit of my soapbox without blame. Just two days ago, I pointed out (helpfully) to a dear friend that they really needed to get out more, make more friends, and in general, change their personality. Gee, wasn't that helpful??
No, not really. See, there's nothing wrong with this person. Just like there's nothing wrong with me. They don't need to change themselves - it's worked for over 30 years just fine - and I don't need to change, either. Lose weight? Sure. Gain strength? Definitely. Both are things I want to do and plan to. But do it because someone else wants me to?
Never.

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