To my fellow sisters in the female gender: just because a woman calls your house, it does NOT automatically mean she's out to get your man. (I will also be the first to say that if it happens over and over, you might need to start asking some questions. And maybe get tested. And brush up on your target practice. But for the sake of this blog posting, we're talking about just the one phone call.)

I volunteer with my daughter "Bedhead"s school (No, her name is not really Bedhead. It's just a nickname she has to keep potential soccer and sports agents at bay.) In my position as a volunteer, it's my job to call a group of male volunteers and remind them when they're supposed to show up for their day of helping at the school. I was making my calls when I dialed a number and a woman answered. She was not a woman who seemed happy to be hearing from a fellow female, either. It went something like this:

Me (in my cheerful voice): "Hi! May I speak with Vinnie Volunteer?"

Grumpella: "WHO?" (semi-loudly)

Me (little less wind in the sails at this point, fearing I've got the wrong number): "Uh, Vinnie Volunteer?"

Grumpella: "Um, yeah."

(This is where she stops herself, and her voice immediately goes from "you've-just-interrupted-my-Maury-show-right-before-the-paternity-results" to "What the heck kind of trollop is calling my house??!")

Grumpella: "WHO may I say is calling?"

It is around this time, while I'm introducing myself to Grumpella, that Vinnie Volunteer picks up the phone in another part of the house, rescuing me from any further audio probing by Miss "I'm Suspicious of Everyone". Now, it has been my experience that a woman who has this kind of reaction when a female calls the house is one of two types of women: either she is the mother of a cute boy in middle school whose female classmates have crushes on him and have gotten ahold of his phone number or she is a jealous woman whose husband is either very outgoing, or is going out...if you get my drift.

Since I am not in middle school and wasn't calling to talk to her son, I can only draw the conclusion she is in the latter group. 

Ma'am, with all due respect: CHILL. I'm sure your fella is a wonderful guy, but unless you're with George Clooney or Brad Pitt, the entire female population isn't out to get him. It's not a good idea to assume every high-pitched voice on the other end of the phone is a she-devil, armed with a skimpy red outfit, pitchfork and thigh-high boots. 

Dial it back a notch. And while you're at it, would you remind him he's supposed to volunteer at the school on Thursday? Thanks.

Copyright October 2009    All rights reserved